Pastoral Wisdom for Leaders in How to Deal with Offence

October 16, 2008 prophetess7
Tags: Discernment, offence, wisdom

The thought for today is for leaders.   I was flying into Baltimore, Md for some meetings that we were doing.  The Lord spoke something to me that I have never heard Him speak to me before.  He said “Cynthia when you have people in your ministry that you have given birth to, discipled, and grew them up to a certain point, and they reach a stage where they become stagnant and are no longer growing under your ministry, nor can they be taught any longer, release them and let them go into their own ministry, for I will from  there began to teach them and they will know the value of what they had.  I will convict their heart. I will allow the wilderness to harness them, just as I attempted to do when they were under your ministry, but refused because of a hardened heart.”

There are many, many pastors and leaders over para-church organizations that have a dilemna in their ministry.

What do you do when you have faithfully poured into spiritual children that you have nurtured from babyhood, who began to grow under your leadership and then began to level off spiritually?  By this I mean they stop growing under your leadership.

You receive them into your ministry under your tutelage when they are babies, and provide the spiritual milk, and later meat, and yet  they have become stagnant?

Their is nothing wrong with the food that they are being fed, yet somewhere along the line they become barren?   What I mean is, once you receive them and began to feed them and nourish them and they grow, but later you notice that they are stagnated in their spiritual development?

You once saw fruit in their lives, they began to practice the doctrines of Christ, the soil of their heart had been turned over, that it was no longer fallow anymore.  They have now learned how to feed themselves, they are mature to the point where you begin to place them and give them leadership over a particular area, or they began a new ministry because vision is flowing out of their heart.

But then something happens along the way.  They have picked up an offence that they refuse to acknowledge, and it therefore goes underground and develops into a root of bitterness.  Remember, as a spiritual father or mother, you are able to see the condition of their heart, just as you have all along, and you have spoken into those areas previously, and the counsel and wisdom that you spoke was received and they were able to correct situations in the past, learn from it and grow.  But now, they have become stagnated, they have a calloused heart, and no longer have a teachable spirit.

As a leader what do you do with these type people?  You continue to speak into their life, but because the root of bitterness blocking their view they aren’t able to see, nor hear any longer.

Mind you, it is clearly evident to the eye that their fruit is drying up on the vine. Their attitude changes considerable.  They have the oversight over an area of ministry, with many new babies  under them.

As the root of bitterness grows stronger, their fruit is less visible as the days go on.  You have communicated with them, yet they refuse to acknowledge that there is a problem.

Their attendance began to dwindle, their giving comes to a halt, their fruit is no longer evident. They no longer want input into their lives as they did previously.  The truths they once governed themselves by, have now become obsolete.  They even begin to speak negatively now into the lives of those that are following them.  You have concern for them, and you are concerned about the place they are walking.  You also lovingly point out to them, the areas that they have fallen down in, and give them the opportunity for change and growth.  But because there are many that are under their care, there is the potential for spiritual harm to those they have been given oversight to, you must protect the health of the community that are in their care.  So you speak to the leader and attempt reconciliation.  If they are still in denial about their condition, you should be interceding for the person, because their walk and relationship with God is in jeopardy.  It is the love of a spiritual parent that will cause you to pray for the individual, that they will get back in sync with God.

Oftentimes they will make excuses for the place they are in, such as there is a lot going on in my life right now, or my children need my care and attention, or my job is calling for greater comittment, or my husband, or my finances, etc, etc, etc.  Mind you, these are all valid excuses that you really can’t argue with, and the person knows it.  It is not the excuse they give, but the “condition” of their heart.

When really this is not the case at all, it becomes an excuse that covers the offence that they refuse to deal with.  They also may become angry at you the spiritual parent, or the entire ministerial staff, ministry or church.

But until the person is willing to acknowledge what is really going on in their life, there is little that you can do or say to help them.  They may even pull other leaders into their offence and transfer their offence to them.  Then you began to see the offence duplicated, because the same traits and fruits you saw in the one, now begins to manifest in the others that they are affecting.

What are some of the signs?  They go into isolation.  They began to see themselves against the ministry or church. It is “them” against the ministry.  They form strong bonds and ties, and rehearse and feed the offence in their “behind the scenes” communication.  All of a sudden you can identify all those that have been bitten by the “spirit of offense.” They are distant, quiet, non-talkative. Where they use to dialogue with the body, they no longer communicate.  Or they communicate vaguely to keep the appearance up to the body that they are ok, and all is well.  It takes a true gift of discernment to discern their spirit.  The most obvious sign is their countenance.  Where they had joy, they now look as though they have dried up and are dieing. Yet they sport the appearance that all is well, and that God is good and doing great and mighty things in their lives.  They may even try to convince those that do have discernment, that this is true.  It takes a keen sense of discernment to identify this spirit.  When they are around those who are truly mature they will say things like, “I love the ministry. I really love my leaders, when in fact in their heart, there is a deep offense that they are nursing.  They find something wrong with everything that is said and done in the ministry.  Outwardly, they portray a smile, inwardly their hearts have become like dead men bones.  They take on the spirit of Machal,  David’s wife and they began to mock those that have a right spirit and heart and are flowing with God.  They actually become envious of those who are flowing with God because they can no longer drink from the cistern that the Lord that  has provided. Their bitter spirit is much to strong to allow them to drink and be nourished.  So those that are drinking and being nourished and are excited about God and all that He is doing, become their targets.

Right now as many of you pastors are reading this, the light bulb is coming on.  You are saying that sounds like……  You are right it does sound like… because that is exactly where sister/brother so-in-so is.

As the shepherd of the house, you can see that bitter spirit on that group. The funny thing is they will never do anything outwardly that you are able to put your finger on, and confront.  Just pray and wait on God’s timing.   Eventually as they gossip, and form battle lines in the spirit within the ministry,  they will also, look for others that they can inject their poisonous venom into.  Unbeknowst to them they will go after someone who is committed to your ministry, that they believe they can sway over to their side and can get them to find a reason to be offended with the ministry also.  At some point the head of the ring will slip up, or someone within the ring will slip up.  Prayer will provoke the enemy to expose his hand in all his undercover activities within the church or ministry.  So do pray, pastor, and watch and wait for God to open an inroad into the devil’s stronghold. 

For example, something that they begin to say that is unscriptural in some way will arise.  Seize the moment at this time to call that entire group in and address the issue.  Why the entire group? Because you will never get to the bottom of it unless you bring them in together.  Then  the hearts of men will be exposed!   At this point the ring leader that began it, can repent and receive mercy.   If the the ones they have baited decides to  cover that person though, then the gift of discernment will expose the heart. Sometimes those that have been bitten will even lie for the person and cover them.  God will show you who is lieing and where the lie began.  Again, they have the opportunity to repent.  The reason God allows it to be exposed is because He loves His people very much.  It is the goodness of God that leads us to repentance.  At this point, forgiveness and reconciliation should happen.  That is the purpose of the meeting.   But it takes a humble spirit and a contrite heart for repentance to flow.  If they continue in the lie, you have exposed the enemy, and brought his fiery darts out into the open to be judged by leadership.  Once you expose him, one of two things will happen:

1)The parties will repent and turn their hearts over to God

2)They will keep the offence and eventually they will leave the ministry.

 

It is just that simple.  God does bring separation.  He tries the heart, finds it wanting, and he separates.  It will not be long before one by one, the spirit of offense, and the power of God will drive them out one by one.   You will see this process repeated over and over again in the local church.  That is God’s way.  He said the sinner(one that refuses to repent) will not be able to sit in the congregation of the righteous.  This doesnt mean everyone else is righteous and they only are sinners.  God is only referring to those that refuse to repent and turn from their wicked ways.  An offence is wicked!  Those that are sitting in the congregation (the righteous) are not righteous because they have not sinned, no! They are righteous because they have sinned and repented and turned their hearts toward God. Whereas the sinner, chose to keep walking in that same unrepentant, nonremorseful path.

Then when God begans to remove them, you must pray for  the cleansing of the house.  You must pray for those remaining victims that were participants in that spirit of offence, because remember, they were bitten by the bitter spirit of the other individual. So you pray and ask God to restore them.  With lovingkindness He has drawn us.  Those affected by the offended one, may turn around once God removes the one originally offended.  So prayer is needed on their behalf.  But if they don’t repent and have a change of heart, eventually you will also see them moving towards the back row, and eventually out the door.  It doesnt matter whether they are in the choir, an intercessor, or even on the praise and worship team, or the evangelism team, or maybe they are a key person in a key position.  The position is not important, it is the heart that God is waiting for to change.  Perhaps, once the influence is removed they may be able to see the light and turn.  There is hope for those that remain.  But remember, it is all about walking in the unity of the faith.  

If you have people like this, pray for God to either change their hearts, or remove them from the fold.  The ministry will do much better, if you have people that walk with the fruit of the Spirit.  Your focus should be on those that have the same heart and spirit that you do.  Paul once said, we need to be speaking the same thing.

Paul also experienced something similar to this scenario.  He had John Mark travelling with him.  One day John Mark decided that he loved this present world more than he wanted the purpose of God.  Paul allowed him to leave the field because he was unuseful to his ministry anymore.  John Mark simply wanted to live a normal life without the pressure of the ministry.  Paul released him and let him go.  Sometimes you need to release people and let them go!  If they are continually against what you are attempting to achieve for God it is better to let them go.  Just as God brought them in for a season, He will be faithful to bring others in.  By trying to hold on to them, you do yourself and the ministry an injustice.

Later, John Mark became profitable to Paul again.  I won’t promise you that this will happen in your case, but I will promise you that God has tailor made a people that fit perfectly in your ministry.  What you have to give is awesome and powerful.  There are some Timothy’s that are waiting for you.  Wait on them.  You will be glad you did.  Usually, once God removes those with the spirit of division,  you will find that the “real” begins to show up.  By the way the scripture does say “mark” those that cause divisions among you.  Mark them (means pay close attention to them) simply means they are “hazardous” to your ministry.

Prophetess Cynthia Steele

Entry Filed under: Church,Discernment,God,Jesus,Prayer,Uncategorized

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